We discussed curiosity as it relates to changing your life and quitting dieting. We gave you some ideas for turning your mind to another way of thinking instead of the usual weigh/restrict/workout way that we as adults generally do. What will your day look like? What can your day look like?
Maybe you are like me and you had no idea what the answers to those questions were- because you have never lived in your adult body trusting yourself. Never thinking that you were good enough because everyone around you is also doubting themselves and turning their bodies over to what ever pseudo-health professional was the hot ticket at the time. Whatever "amazing" diet was popular at the time. Anything except letting yourself and your body do what it wanted to do.
We talked about those trigger foods or those forbidden foods that you just couldn't let yourself have. People really just don't understand that you indeed will not eat those foods exclusively for the rest of your life! But if you proclaim that you can't trust yourself around pizza, or cookies, or chips then you will indeed want them more than you have ever wanted anything before because you "can't handle them". Such nonsense. As unintuitive as it sounds, letting yourself actually eat any food will result in normalized eating. It is in the denying of the food that the problems occur.
You know of kids (I had one of them) who only ate a few foods and no amount of threatening or cajoling or bribing a 2 year old can make them eat something they don't want. And they grow up just fine. That kid of mine is 6 ft tall and it took a long time but he now eats a variety of foods that is more than mac and cheese and hot dogs. So think about that- kids really have fine instincts about what they eat until we start meddling in it. They will get a nice variety of food in over a period of time with not a lot of help from us. When we start withholding the desserts and making them have specialness or moral value- that is where those eating issues begin. So give your inner child dessert if they want it, who really cares?? There is no food police. You are a grownup- eat what you like. Aren't you wondering what that would be like?
It is interesting that I began my search for a way out of dieting on almost the same day as I hit my "goal weight" on that weight loss app. I was doing my usual freakout and someone sent me a post about smashing your scale. My introduction to the idea of not letting your scale rule your life and your day. I of course scoffed at such a notion, I wanted to stay the exact same weight as I was then but then not think about what I ate. The weight loss app people implied it was just as easy as upping your calories when you hit that magic weight, keep up the exercise and of course keep recording your food. You know, obsess over it and buy all those fancy things and invest in better shoes and keep living a life that was ruled by extraneous rules that really had nothing to do with you.
The blog post that I read was actually by an exercise person who was restricting the hell out of herself, though she claimed that she didn't, but it was a beginning. One thing lead to another and I eventually found the world of podcasts which really allowed me to find a new way.
On the podcast today Anne-Sophie and I talked a little about the Body Love Writing Circles. It was a program that totally changed my life. The 6 months of work made a big dent in the 50 plus years of me not believing I was ever good enough. It was the way I made huge strides in changing my thoughts and beliefs and that process still continues. It was what has lead me to where I am today- a much happier person who has so many facets of her life. I can not begin to imagine my life without having gone through it. I'm so grateful for what it began in me.
Invest in yourself, find a program, get a coach (I know of a really good one!!! :) ) you are so totally worth it.
