Hello everyone!
It has been a LONG time since I wrote, the end of the school year is nutty and I have been mentally drained....
Anyway, I have had lots of plans for posts, but the length that they were bound to become made me defer it until "later". Well apparently later became 6 weeks.
So, I thought I would write a little thing I thought of or dealt with lately- and something popped to my mind immediately.
Today was FINALLY the last day we were required to be at school and unfortunately it will be the last truly awesome day for a week, so I decided to ride my bike. It is warm yet breezy, really good for riding. I was going to just sit around, but I can do that tomorrow when it is supposed to get hot- relatively. Northern WI hot at least.
I decided to put on a tank top and leggings and when I looked in the mirror, I had a pause when I saw myself in that tank. I do not have visible muscles anymore, I used to be quite sure that everyone thought that was the best thing about me. As I was biking and I looked down at my arms that are more the "real me" - strong yes, but not starved into submission- I again had this little tiny moment of regret. Today though, the Debi who is not in diet prison any more, who doesn't over exercise, the woman who values who she is inside, spoke up and assured me that those visible muscles were pretty meaningless. That how I look in a tank is not the important thing in life and how we are so conditioned to think that if we look different from those people we see in the media means we can't possibly be awesome or desirable or strong or happy.
HAHA! Good point. I am happy. And I will wear what I want and I will not avert my eyes from the mirror because I don't look like I did 3 years ago. It is something that still comes up, but my inner self is much more aggressive about calling out that disordered thinking. And pretty soon I think those thoughts will just fade away. And this is a good thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment